For the Tainted Sorrow
by sacrumvotum
Summary: Lelouch was more emotionally influenced at that time during the SAZ meeting with Euphemia, and made a rash decision that costed not only the Japanese's freedom... but also his life. The future seemed bleak, and the little sister left behind strove to finish what her big brother had started for her.
1. Prologue

**PROLOGUE**

* * *

Euphemia's eyes were rimmed with red rings. She seemed to struggle, as if something was conflicting inside her heart, but in the end, she submitted to the irresistible order. With a smile, she said, "I must kill all the Japanese."

Lelouch, realizing that his geass had gone uncontrollable and the geass order that he had given as a joke had taken over Euphie's mind, knew that he couldn't let her do it. Euphie would be devastated once every single Japanese in the zone died, and she wouldn't forgive herself, because she would never, ever blame him.

And so, without thinking, he grabbed Euphie's hand, preventing her from going out there. He used his free hand to put his mask back on, and said, "Euphemia! If you want to kill all Japanese... you only need to kill me."

Euphemia blinked in confusion, "But Zero... you're Britannian. I can't kill you. You're not Japanese. I need to kill all Japanese." She pointed out, a bit miffed as she struggled to break away from Lelouch's grasp. "Now let me go and let me kill all those Japanese!"

"Euphemia, listen to me!" Lelouch demanded. "I am now Zero, not your brother Lelouch vi Britannia, not the Ashford student Lelouch Lamperouge! I am Zero, symbol of freedom to the Japanese! I am Japanese itself! If I die, the Japanese won't be free, they shall forever be Elevens. Not Japanese, but Eleven." He explained slowly. "Kill me, and there will never be Japanese ever again. Only Elevens remained."

Euphemia blinked. "You're... right. So if I kill you... Japanese would be dead... yes..." She nodded in understanding. She tilted her head, asking him with a smile. "You seem ready to die, Zero. Do you have any gun that is not a needle gun?"

Lelouch winced, but nodded. He brought out another gun and handed it to Euphie. _'This is so that Euphie won't be destroyed for killing the Japanese... Nunna... Nunnally would have the student council… and Euphie knew she is alive...'_ He thought, as Euphie took the gun from him. "End this all, Euphemia- _hime_." He purposefully used the Japanese title instead of the Britannian one, enforcing his image as the Japanese symbol to her.

"Good bye, Zero." Euphie bid with a smile.

And with a loud bang, Zero fell to the ground, bleeding to death.

The red rim from Euphie's eyes disappeared, and as she came to her senses, she watched as Zero, as _her brother_ 's body began to bleed to death. Unknowingly, due to shock, she dropped the gun. She let out a small, scared gasp. "L-Lelouch—LELOUCH!" She cried out, kneeling besides Lelouch, prying the mask from his face. "No, no, no! Please, big brother, don't die!" She cried.

She fumbled for her phone, speed dialing Cornelia. Once the call connected, she immediately cried out to the phone. "Cornelia, Cornelia! I—Lelouch, Lelouch is hurt, please, Nelly, come here, please! He's dying!" she sobbed out.

 _"_ _Wh- Lelouch?! Euphie, what's—"_

"Just come here ASAP, NELLY!" Euphie screamed to the phone, ending the call on a distressed tone, before going back to Lelouch, pressing his wound. "Please, please, Lelouch, stay alive, please..." Euphie cried. "You can't—you can't leave Nunna alone, leave me alone! I-I just found you again!"

"E-Euphie..." Lelouch rasped out softly, looking to Euphemia's lavender colored eyes. "P-Please... take care of Nunnally... and Suzaku... for me... okay?"

"No, no... Lelouch...!" Euphie sobbed, tears falling from her eyes. "Don't... stay alive for me...! For Nunna! For Suzaku!" She tried so hard to stop the bleeding. "You'll get through this alive!"

"You know... it's too late... Euphie..." Lelouch replied, smiling wryly as he felt his life fading away. "I'm glad... I can... save you..."

"Lelouch...!" Euphie sobbed.

The door to the room burst open, revealing Cornelia, Darlton, Guilford, and Suzaku, who entered the room in a worry, only to see Zero, with his mask off, dying on the floor. The man behind the mask, a teen with raven hair and amethyst colored eyes whose light was fading away.

Suzaku was the first to recognize the dying man. "LELOUCH!" He exclaimed, dread and confusion filling him as he ran towards the unmasked miracle man's side, cradling his upper body. "Lelouch, wh-wha—how—why are you—?!"

Lelouch smiled weakly at Suzaku. "J-just know that... it's not... Euphie's fault... okay? It's... mine..." He whispered, reaching out to put his hand over Suzaku's chest. "Suzaku... take care... of Nunna..." He coughed out more blood, life only seconds away from fading completely. "I never... told you, but I..." but before Suzaku could hear it, the hand on his chest fell down, and the life faded completely from his eyes.

"Lelouch? No, no, this is... this is just a prank, right?" Suzaku asked, voice weak and unbelieving, not wanting to accept the death of his best friend, who had just— who had just—! "Lelouch, please, wake up, please! Don't—don't leave me—LELOUCH!" He yelled, tears falling from his emerald eyes. "No, don't, Lelouch, don't! LELOUCH!"

* * *

 _"_ _Attention, people of all Area Eleven."_ All channels in TV and radios switched to a showing of news live from the SAZ, showing Cornelia standing in front of all the Japanese that had gathered there, that day. Her face was grim. Behind her stood her knight Guilford, General Darlton, Euphemia, and Suzaku, all looking grim as well. Suzaku and Euphemia looked even worse.

Nunnally, who had been feeling that something bad happened, had asked to be brought to Milly and the others, who were watching the news in the student council room, frowned as her bad feeling worsened. "Milly, what's wrong?"

"I don't know... but Princess Cornelia and Princess Euphemia look grim, and Suzaku..." Milly bit her lips. "Suzaku looks even worse, as if..." she didn't continue the sentence, not wanting to describe the utter despair etched on Princess Euphemia's face. "Zero's not there."

 _"_ _A life... has been lost today."_ Cornelia started, closing her eyes, as if trying to bury the pain. _"Zero... had foiled an assassination attempt on Princess Euphemia... and had lost his life then."_

Gasps were heard from the Japanese gathered in the zone, and even some of the student council members were shocked.

But none were as shocked as Nunnally that moment.

 _"_ _Nunnally, I'm sorry for forcing you to open your eyes like this, if only because I need to put this geass on you in case I..." Lelouch paused, but his left eye flashed crimson, with a red, crane like sigil on it._ _ **"Nunnally, when you hear either Zero or I die from whomever, you shall open your eyes, be cured from your blindness, and you shall remember this conversation."**_ _He commanded, smiling sadly. "I'm sorry, Nunna, I love you."_

 ** _"_** ** _Alright, big brother..."_**

The memory flashed through her mind, and she choked a sob. Soon, sobs followed, and she broke into crying. The eyes she hadn't opened since seven years ago, finally revealed a pair of glistening violet eyes, showing nothing but sorrow, as her arms wrapped around herself, clinging onto herself, as cries of despair escaped her lips.

"N-Nunna?! What's wrong?!" Shirley asked, confused as she and the rest of the student council members ran to their honorary member, worried to her sudden crying. "W-Wait, your eyes—!"

Nunnally closed her eyes again, not wanting to be able to see in a world where her brother was gone.

"Zero... is dead." She managed to say between sobs. "Zero... Lelouch is dead!"

* * *

C.C. watched wistfully from the Gawain, feeling her connection with Lelouch snapped. Another contractor dead, another chance that wish of hers went unfulfilled. First Marianne, then Mao, and now Lelouch... all of them dead, unable to fulfill her wish. How troublesome.

It seemed that the Ragnarok Connection really was the only way to end this eternal life of hers.

* * *

"Lelouch is dead, huh?" Charles grunted in the world of C, voice unemotional as he watched the pink haired girl who held the soul of his favorite wife crying.

"Charles, our son is dead!" Marianne cried, as she tried to wipe the tears from her face. "Can't we just hurry up and finish this Ragnarok Connection already?! I want to be reunited with my children!"

Charles placed a soothing hand onto the girl, the woman he loved. "Soon, Marianne, soon... we will all be together again."

* * *

Zero was dead, and without Zero, the Black Knights disbanded. There was no one out there in Zero's league that would want to help them free Japan from Britannia's grasp. Without Zero, there was no hope for the Japanese.

Sure, after Zero's death, Cornelia had enforced laws that would treat Japanese better (to honor Zero, she claimed), but that alone wasn't enough. There was still oppression in various places in the area, and now that the SAZ was busted, the Japanese will never be Japanese again, staying as the ever so degraded Elevens.

All hope was lost, and the future seemed bleak.

* * *

 **To Be Continued**

* * *

 **Credits:** I don't own Code Geass, nor do I own the title. Title taken from Bungou Stray Dog's Nakahara Chuuya's ability and the real Chuuya's poem. :D

 **A/N:**

Well, usually, I wouldn't even consider killing of the main character of the series to start a story, but this idea came to my mind, and well... :D

Honestly, Lelouch's accidental geass on Euphemia could be cancelled with just a few wordplay. It all came down to the _wording_ of the order, after all. He could have just said that there were still no Japanese out there because officially, the SAZ had not started yet, and all Japanese were still considered Elevens at this point, so _technically_ , they were _not_ Japanese... but I needed the angst, so... *shrugs*

Charles might seemed OOC in this, but he _was_ trying to reassure his favorite wife. He might or might not really care for Lelouch, but all his action in this prologue was to soothe Marianne, who in a twisted kind of way, _did_ love her children.

More things will be explained in the next chapter, and also more reactions from other characters. Not to mention that spoiler, spoiler, Nunna's gonna kick some asses!

I hope you enjoy this prologue, I'm sorry for any mistakes that I did in this chapter. Thank you for reading!


	2. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER 1**

* * *

Kozuki Kallen, now donning her Stadtfeld persona, entered the grounds of the Ashford's Clubhouse. All spirit void from her very being. Usually, even when she donned her sickly girl persona, there was still a fire in them, making the persona looked alive, but now? Now she looked like an empty shell.

Zero was dead. Her leader was dead. Japan had no more chance to gain their freedom from Britannia. Now that Zero, their esteemed leader who had managed to lead the Black Knights into winning in their battles against Britannia, was dead…

How? How did he die? Protecting Euphemia li Britannia from an assassination? Why would he protect a princess of Britannia? Why would he protect an enemy? Why?!

It didn't make sense!

"Kallen, is that you?" Kallen looked up from the ground, her thoughts dispersed after hearing Milly's voice calling her form inside the clubhouse.

"Madam President? What's… what's wrong?" the red head asked, noticing the distraught and downright sad look from the usually energetic and cheerful blonde. "Did something bad happen?" she asked, approaching Milly, a look on concern on her face. She needed to look strong, if only not to worry her friends.

"It's… It's Lelouch." The student council president said, pulling Kallen inside and closing the door behind them. "Don't tell this to anyone, but… as his friend, you should know. You heard that Zero died, right?"

 _'_ _Of course. He's my leader. I heard it firsthand.'_ She wanted to say, but held her tongue. Instead, she confirmed Milly's words. "Yes… but what does it have anything to do with Lelouch, though?"

Milly closed her eyes in sadness, and said, "I don't know how Nunnally knew about it, but I know she wouldn't lie." She started. "She said that Lelouch was Zero."

The implication of Nunnally's claim dawned on Kallen. Despite her not knowing the Lamperouge siblings for long enough, she knew that Nunnally, sweet, kind Nunnally wouldn't lie about something like that.

It dawned upon her that on that dreadful day, not only did she lose her leader, Kallen also lost a friend.

* * *

Shirley watched with confusion as Princess Euphemia and Princess Cornelia entered the clubhouse, their respective knights trailing behind them. Shirley noted that Suzaku looked worse than how she saw him in TV. He looked like almost all his life had been sucked out of him.

Shirley wasn't that close to Lelouch, but seeing Suzaku like this hurts.

Still, why would two royals came here just because Zero was dead? _Lelouch_ was dead? It didn't make sense.

She and the rest of the student council watched as Cornelia knelt besides Nunnally… and pulled her into a hug. Euphemia joined in the hug, and both she and Nunnally broke into cries while Cornelia shed silent tears.

Why were the princesses acting so close with Nunnally?

"Nunna… we're going to take Lelouch's… body to the homeland and—" but before Cornelia could finish her sentence, Nunnally cut her off.

The girl with sandy brown hair looked enraged at the Viceroy. "No! Don't you dare take my big brother to that accursed land! To anywhere close to _that Man_!" she screamed, her voice full of loathing though it was not really aimed at the Viceroy. Shirley had never heard Nunnally to sound so… like that. "It—it's because of _Him_ , because of Britannia that my brother is now dead! Don't you dare take him there, Cornelia!"

Everyone looked at Nunnally as if she had grown another head, stunned with the hateful words she said to the Viceroy of all people.

Euphemia sobbed harder and hugged the little girl who had lost her brother tighter. "I'm so sorry, Nunna, I'm so sorry… it's because of me that Big Brother Lelouch is…" Euphemia couldn't complete her sentence as she let out another choked sob.

Nunnally cried together with her as she hugged the pink haired princess tighter.

Shirley did not miss the princess calling Lelouch 'Big Brother'.

But that did not matter now. If what she thought was true, then Princess Euphemia and Cornelia did not just lose an enemy-slash-would be ally… they also lost a brother.

The day became bleaker day by day.

* * *

One week after Nunnally's outburst, it had been decided that Lelouch would be buried in Japan, near the Kururugi shrine. Nunnally was sure that Lelouch wanted to be buried there, the place where they were happiest seven years ago when they were still young and (mostly) innocent.

The funeral was a private one, but Cornelia and Euphemia had called for Schneizel, who was the closest older half brother that Lelouch had, to come. They had explained the situation to him, and much to the Lelouch's friends' surprise, the usually cool and charming Prime Minister actually looked sorrowed by the death of his younger half brother.

Rivalz still couldn't believe that his best friend was a freaking prince, though an exiled one. Lelouch never really acted like it beyond his Ice Prince persona in school. Lelouch didn't seem intent on ever telling them too. He literally brought his secret to the grave. The only reason they knew was because the Viceroy and Sub-Viceroy visited Nunnally after his best friend's death.

 _'_ _Lelouch… why? Why did you become Zero? Became the Empire's enemy?'_ He asked, as he watched Lelouch's coffin being put down into his final resting place. Rivalz closed his eyes, unable to watch the coffin lowering till the end. One thought was prominent from the other in his mind _. 'Why must you die, Lelouch…?'_

Nunnally threw a fist at her own legs, frustrated beyond believe. "Damn it, move already!" She shouted, eyes tearing with hot tears. "Big brother's dead! I can't stay useless, cooped in this damned wheelchair!"

She held tight on wheelchair, as she tried to push herself off the wheelchair. Her legs trembled as she tried to stay standing. "I… I must walk… I can't stay useless! I need to walk on my own!" she told herself, as she pushed away the wheelchair. Her whole body trembled as she tried to stay standing, but when she tried to take a step forward, her legs couldn't support her and she fell down to the floor.

"Damn it!" Nunnally cursed, eyes closed in frustration as she smacked the floor in anger. "Please, I don't want to be useless…! I need to… I need to—!"

She felt ringing on her head that instant, and when she opened her eyes, she found herself in a room with big gears running on the walls, and masks floating around her. Above them was the planet of Jupiter, yet a glowing red crane like sigil encompassed it. **_"Little child, I have heard your will. If you accept, I will bestow upon you the Power of Kings, however, I have one wish that you must fulfill to complete our contract. Do you accept?"_**

Nunnally did not hesitate to answer. "Yes."

She needed power.

So she'd take it when offered.

 _'_ _Watch me, big brother…! I'll make our dream come true!'_

* * *

Suzaku stood at the edge of the roof of the Ashford Academy, leaning too close into the railing as he watched the empty ground below. Oh, how he wished he could just jump and _die_. That way, he could meet with Lelouch again, right? Not only will he atone for his sin for killing his father, he would also be able to atone for his sin for driving Lelouch in the path of being Zero and meet him again.

It would be so easy, stepping at the other side of the railing, and one misstep and—

When Suzaku opened his eyes again, he found himself on the ground, standing, and no sign of him having jumped from the roof. It was as if he had decided not to jump and went back down through the stairs, but he couldn't remember doing that.

Suzaku clenched his fists, biting his lips. _'Damn it, I failed again…!'_ He thought, a choked sob escaped his lips briefly. He looked up to the sky, his green eyes jaded, losing the life they had once before the tragedy took place.

He thought over to what Lelouch's last words were, and what Nunnally had said during the funeral.

 _"_ _You know, Suzaku-san?" Nunnally asked, intentionally using Japanese since there were only the two of them there left after the funeral ended. "It's funny how the three of us fell in love with the same person—Big brother, Euphie, and I. The three of us were always the closest."_

 _Suzaku's eyes widened. He might not really know who Nunnally and Lelouch fell in love with, but he knew who Euphie fell in love with. After all, it wasn't long ago when Euphie confessed to him. That would mean—_

 _The brunet's hand flew to his mouth, covering them as horror and realization dawned upon him._ 'Then—Lelouch's last words were—'

 _"_ _He loved you, Suzaku-san. He never told me, but I knew he did." Nunnally continued, smiling wryly though her lavender eyes reflected the deep sorrow she felt. "He loved Euphie and I too much though, so he never tried to pursue you, letting either of us try to gain your love." Nunnally grabbed onto her skirt, as if trying to tell herself to get a grip. "I'm glad… that when he died… at least, he died in your arms, Suzaku-san."_

Suzaku felt a single tear fell from his eyes as he remembered Nunnally's words. He then recounted Lelouch's last words.

 _"_ _I never... told you, but I..."_

 _—_ _Love you._

Another strangled sob escaped his lips. He looked away from the sky, and without looking, ran away to the forest not too far away from the Ashford ground. He ran and ran and ran, not caring where his legs took him, hoping that in this moment of carelessness, he could somehow just _die_.

Suzaku never realized it, but—he might love Euphie, he really did. He loved Nunnally too.

But it was only now that he realized… that he loved Lelouch too, and that the love he had for Euphie was incomparable to his love for Lelouch.

Lelouch was always there for him since they met seven years ago and when they reunited again. As a friend, as an enemy, as his savior, as his destroyer—not even Euphie could understand Suzaku the way Lelouch did. Lelouch was the only one who really, truly understood Suzaku. It was the same in reverse too. Suzaku knew Lelouch, perhaps even more than Nunnally. Lelouch always hid his darker side from Nunnally, but with Suzaku, he never did.

Suzaku might only have recently known that Lelouch was really Zero—no, that would be a lie. Suzaku had had suspicions that Lelouch was Zero for a long time, but he was in denial, not wanting to accept it, but the suspicion alone proved that Suzaku knew Lelouch almost from the inside out.

Their feelings to each other, their love was one that they wouldn't even realize had been blooming all this time because they were just so used to be there for the other and being happy with each other. If one hadn't pointed it out, Suzaku was sure he'd never figure it out, knowing himself.

Still, the realization came too late. Lelouch was dead now, and their love could never be.

* * *

"The situation with the EU is worsening. I've been called back to deal with them." Cornelia said to her younger sister calmly. It had only been weeks after their half brother's death, yet neither of them were completely over it, Euphie more so than Cornelia, but Cornelia had to be strong from the younger princess.

"I'll stay here." Euphie said firmly, although she did not look straight into Cornelia when she said it, choosing to look at the floor with brows furrowed still in sadness. "Lelouch is dead, and Nunnally is alone now. She didn't want to come back to the homeland. I—I'll stay with her."

Cornelia frowned. Being here would hurt Euphie more. Being in the homeland would make Euphie move on from Lelouch's death faster. She was right though, despite the former eleventh prince's death, they still had one half sister here who won't (would never) come back to the homeland willingly, having just lost her brother. Nunnally, sweet, gentle Nunnally needed someone to be there with her now, as an emotional support if nothing else.

"I'll stay here. I'll go to Ashford to continue my studies. I've given up my status as a princess anyway for the SAZ, even if it failed, so I don't think it'll be a problem." Euphie continued, finally looking up to Cornelia. "Please, Nelly. Let me honor Lelouch's wish for me to take care of Nunna."

And with that, Cornelia knew she already lost the argument. "Alright, but I expect a call at least once a week from you two, alright?" she asked, resigned.

Euphie smiled a mixture of happiness and sadness. "Thank you, big sister."

* * *

"Why?! Why can't we find Lelouch here?!" Marianne cried out to the Emperor, gesturing wildly to the World of C around them. "You—you were able to talk with Clovis, right, Charles? Then why can't we talk with our son?!"

Charles was equally distraught too. He had been able to converse with Clovis, even now, he still could. It didn't make sense that they couldn't talk with Lelouch if he was here, in the World of C, where every human beings returned upon their death.

So why? Why weren't they able to talk with Lelouch?

"I don't know, Marianne." He said truthfully. "But it only means that we have to finish the Ragnarok Connection faster then, so that we can talk with Lelouch again."

"… You're right, Charles… with the Ragnarok Connection, we'll be able to talk with Lelouch again… and Nunnally too…" Marianne agreed after pausing for a bit as she calmed herself down. "Soon, Lelouch, Nunnally… son we'll be reunited again." A smile graced her lips, as she put both her hands over her heart. "Soon…"

* * *

 **One year later**

Area Eleven was in chaos after Cornelia's departing to EU, having been replaced by one of the more bloodthirsty and racist imperial prince, Anthony re Britannia, sixth prince of the Empire. Movements of freedom from the Japanese had started again, riots could be heard almost every night, but unlike the time with Zero, none had been so successful so far.

Kallen had once again gathered the former members of Black Knights, the one she could get in contact with, anyways. Ohgi stood between the seas of Black Knights at the front in the warehouse that Zero had given them so long ago.

The former teacher regarded the red head with a questioning look. "Kallen, why did you gather us here? You know that without Zero, we can't really do anything."

Kallen shook her head. "No… we still have hope." She said, firmly.

As if on cue, a small figure entered the warehouse, followed by a Japanese woman dressed in the traditional kunoichi outfit. The opposite of Zero, who usually wore all black, the figure wore an all white dress, yet just like Zero, she wore a mask that concealed her face. She stopped just beside Kallen, standing straight.

"Who are you?!" Tamaki asked, looking at the figure suspiciously.

"I am Zero's younger sister." The figure said calmly. "And I'm here to complete my brother's dream. I will free Japan… and destroy Britannia!"

* * *

 **To Be Continued**

* * *

 **A/N:** This is the second chapter for For the Tainted Sorrow, I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it too! Thank for all who have read, reviewed, followed and put this fic on favorite!

So yeah, we see now that Lelouch's death was rather... peculiar since Charles and Marianne were not able to contact him. Why that happened... well, that would be telling, eh? *wink*

I hope you look forward for the next chapter! Once again, thank you!


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